Monday, June 7, 2010

~A Note From Me~

Dear blogging friends.
First let me say that you all are the nicest, most kind, caring and considerate people on this earth.
Thank you for all your thoughtful comments, emails, phone calls and most of all thank you for lifting me and my family up in prayer.

 These last 2 weeks have been difficult, I've been down spiritually and mentally.
 Some days the answering machine sat blinking and unanswered, I just didn't want to talk.
My strawberry crop went mostly unpicked.  I just didn't have the heart to do much.

Baby Daisy isn't coming home, I am heart broken by this, but I have some peace of knowing what happened and where.  Not all involved are being totally honest so I may never know the truth.  At least I am not looking everywhere for her or sleeping out on the day bed on the porch listening for her howl. 

Some things I have made peace with.  You have too or you'll go crazy.

Our friend Bill is still with us and has even been  out to the hay fields this past week.  He is sick and weak, but still has a smile on his face when you tell him something and he even tries to crack a joke or two about his imminent situation to try and cheer those around him.  He is such a blessing.

I feel like things are looking up, I am not consumed by grief and sadness, just have spontaneous bouts most days.  The silliest things will set it off.
 I missed my first horse show of the year with Bug, I was too upset to even care at the moment.
I am back training daily with her and hope to make our debut soon, she is such a great horse.

The other dogs seem to be getting back to them selves again.  They moped for a week and laid around unsure why there dynamics had changed.  Poor little Ringo had never known life without her sister.
I think my heart ached the most for them.   They have resumed hunting and playing and dragging things around and chewing.  Ozzy, (Baby Daisy's dad) has been by my side since the day she disappeared.
 He slept with me all those nights on the porch and is now my constant shadow.  He is trying so hard to fill  the void he senses.  Most nights he snuggles with his head on my legs while I watch TV.
  He is such a good dog too.

I've been trying to stay busy, they say that's best.
I helped my husband build a small  pool deck around our above ground pool.
  For three years I've been getting in with the rickety old pool ladder.  I also found some pool steps on craigslist for cheap.  
Now with steps and a deck I feel right up town.  I'm going to try and move some plants around this week and get it landscaped somewhat. 

The Amish kids painted all the pipe rail fence.  It looks nice and soooo glad it's done.

Still working on getting Ele and water to the new barn.

We unloaded and stacked about 425 small bales of alfalfa hay......not my favorite thing to do.

Cleaning house, mowing, and that's about it.

 We did sell 2 of the project horses and Dwight moved 5 others to summer pasture so that's a lot less for me to feed and move around each day.

My baby boy turns 21 tomorrow...where did the time go????

That's me and what I've been up too.  A whole lot of nothin'.
I have been blog  visiting when time allows, I do so enjoy keeping up with you all.
  Everyone is such an inspiration to me and thank you again for carrying me through.

In peace and grace,


  1. It is never easy but it seems you and Ozzy are filling in those empty spots in your hearts.

    Yes, staying busy is better but I know there will be moments when it hits you hard. Know Daisy is still with you in your heart and in each memory forever.

  2. Oh Shanda, I am so sorry that your Baby didn't return! I know that this has been so difficult for you and that your heart is broken! It sounds like you are trying really hard to get back into your routine, for that I am so proud of you! I will be praying for all of you that God will bless you daily and make you feel better! HUGS!

  3. So sorry to hear about your pup-losing a family pet is tough.
    Hopefully your pain will ease up soon.
    Good Luck!


  4. Shanda..I know how sick at heart you have been..I promise it does get better down the road.The other dogs do sense your broken sweet they are worried about you!!They know you love them..just as your pup knew.I believe God has special places for our animals..after all He created them to respond and to love us!!

    I hope your summer gets a little better..soon.. I will continue praying for you.

    Cindy from Rick-Rack and Gingham

  5. Thank you for this update Shanda, You really have been busy, and yes it does help when we are dealing with the WHYs of life. I know I have been there.

    Also time for some reason time does a lot of healing. I will continue to pray about all these situations. I think of you often.

  6. My heart just breaks for you. I know how hard it is to lose a beloved pet. Brenda at Cozy Little House just lost a cat. It is so painful! I still have not gotten another dog. I am afraid something would happen to it also.
    Take Care,

  7. Great big hugs and prayers sent your way!!!! Open up your window this morning and let them in!!

    I am so sorry that you are experiencing the illness of such a close friend. I am so glad that the two of you are there for him too. You have to remain strong for him.


  8. Sometimes all we need is time. To heal takes time. And you sound like you've taken the time you needed to grieve and understand what is going on around you. Even the animals will return to a routine after time. Everything happens for a reason. There is a lesson that comes out of all situations. God bless you for all you do for Bill. Will be praying for you to keep looking forward.

  9. I'm so sorry about your dog :( They are family, and when they go, it's just so heart breaking!

    I hope that you find ways to keep your mind busy! I think you'll enjoy having the deck on your pool. My parents have a deck all the way around their above ground, and I can't tell you how much we enjoy just laying around up there, chatting it up. Not that you have time for all that, but if you do, I hope you try it!!

    Hang in there :).

  10. Awww darlin'...I wish I had the words to take away the hurt you're feeling. But, there's nothing I can say that will help except to let you know that even though you won't forget, time will heal the hurt.


  11. so sorry for all that has happened in your life lately. It is so sad to lose your pet. My youngest son is 21 and, yes, the time does fly by. Please take care and hope you feel better soon.

  12. Hi Shanda,
    COme visit me again...maybe I was making the post when you were visiting..COMPUTERS!!!!

    So sorry that your beloved Daisy is still missing, and that life is hard right now.

    You take care of yourself and give Abby a big kiss :) Does she have any new hats or glasses to wear and cheer you up with? LOL
    Deb :)

  13. Hi Shanda,
    I'm so sorry for your sadness. I'm thinking of you!


  14. Oh Shanda,
    So sorry you are facing such difficult times...praying without ceasing and staying *really* busy is my way of coping too.
    Take care,

  15. I happened upon your blog by searching 'porches' and I am so glad I did. I enjoyed reading and seeing the nice pictures you have posted.
    I am sorry for your loss of your pet.

  16. Hi Shanda

    You had stopped by my blog the other day and wrote to me what had happen with your lovely Daisy I'm so sorry I know how it feels to loose your best friend I have Standard Poodles and I have had them all my life we do agility and when I lost my Zackary of 15 years I was heart broken it had taken a lot out of me and for a very long time I grieved then Thomas and Evan came into my life I fear the end results our close and loving relationships as animals give UN conditional love my boys are with me all the time except when I am in the operating room I would bring them to work if I could in fact sometimes I think my standard poodles are smarter then some Doctors LOL.

    Try to rest your heart she knows of your sadness and she will be with you in spirit for ever she is now over The Rainbow Bridge and she is Spirit and free

    Take care of your other dogs and animals they need you as well there hearts were broken and need your strength and believe God loves all of life they too are its Children

    Please stop by anytime on my blog I will be posting some more videos of my agility with my boys


  17. Nice Blog. I am so counting the days I can close the door on the salon and walk away.

    Mine is not the door of the salon, but might as well be. It is a big oil company, stock goes up, stock goes down. I have to work and stockpile some money so we can retire and start traveling around the US.

    What park of Missouri are you living? I grew up in Kansas City North area.


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